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I am a year-old woman , and I have never, to my knowledge, had an orgasm. The question can feel vaguely patronizing, but it also fills me, and others like me studies tend to put the share of nonorgasmic women at 5 to 10 percent , with a creeping sense of self-doubt. I thought for a moment. But no matter how much I am enjoying myself, there inevitably comes a time, both on my own and with a partner, when the physical pleasure, having built and built, either fades to nothing or becomes a sensation too uncomfortable to bear, and provides neither the rapture nor release I have imagined and sometimes even conjure in my dreams. For years I relished the novelty of touching and being touched by someone separate from myself, not to mention the discovery—I must have been about 11—that I could slide my pelvis beneath the bathtub faucet and elicit that delicious-and-then-unbearable sensation I described above.

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